Does it get any easier?

Today I did something I never thought I would. I shared in my class what happened to Riley. A group of about 10 people. Some context, I decided to go back to school and get into midwifery. Help bring some good into this world to counteract the pain and heartache that I have dealt with.…

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His Voice?

Last night I woke up with a jolt as I remembered an old conversation I had with Riley a long time ago. A conversation about getting married but that wasn't the reason I started crying. The tears started when I realised I couldn't remember how he sounded. I couldn't remember what his voice was like.…

The “Jolly” Season

Well, I got through Christmas. I got through New Year’s. There were tears and fits of anger but still I got through it. There were times of being happy, content and enjoying life. But the real question is “Why do we miss people more around Christmas and New Year’s?” Before the Christmas period I was…

Vulnerability and others.

This is not a fun post (I'm going to need a drink after this) This is the how I fucked up without meaning to.  People always tell me I’m handling this so well and how did I manage to get through this so well but let me assure you I did not come this far…

The memorial

I just stopped going to my therapist because I thought I was doing really well. But now shit has hit the fan and I’m not sure what to do. Let me tell you a long winded story of my partner’s memorial. When Riley died, his Sister Sarah wanted to do something special. So she organised…

When I fell in love.

I need a pick-me-up and something easy to get back into the swing of things. I’m very unwell and so is Matt so day to day tasks have been a challenge. (Hence not writing for quite some time) It’s been a hell of a week. We are babysitting a kitten for 2 months and Berlioz…